Pride Township
Gayer cops, tighter leather, absolutely no women, and cheaper Starbucks. Making Marion County more gay accessible.
Gayer cops, tighter leather, absolutely no women, and cheaper Starbucks. Making Marion County more gay accessible.
Vermin advocated for national legislation requiring everyone to brush their teeth. He argued that improving dental hygiene was a public health necessity, reducing healthcare costs and increasing overall well-being.
Vermin pledged to provide a free pony to every American. He believed this would foster a sense of responsibility and care in children, while also creating new jobs in pony care and veterinary services, thereby boosting the economy.
Vermin warned about the potential threat of a zombie apocalypse and proposed using zombies as an innovative source of renewable energy. He envisioned a future where the kinetic energy generated by zombies could be harnessed to power the nation's electrical grid, reducing dependence on fossil fuels.
Vermin promised to invest in time travel research, aiming to use this technology to prevent historical atrocities and improve the present. He saw this as a bold step towards rectifying the mistakes of the past and creating a better future.
Joseph Blevins, the audacious and unapologetic Cuntstable of Pride Township, is infamous for his brash personality and flamboyant antics. Strutting through the streets in glittery uniforms that would make a drag queen blush, Blevins enforces the laws with a swaggering authority, interpreting the rules to suit his whims and cracking down on anything disrupting his vision of an inclusive, vibrant community. Amidst his duties, he has a peculiar vice: stealing broccoli from Kroger, not out of necessity but for the rebellious thrill, sauntering in, swiping broccoli, and making dramatic exits. Blevins is a paradox of flamboyant law enforcement and petty crime, embodying the chaotic, unapologetic spirit of Pride Township and becoming a local legend, loved and loathed in equal measure.
